I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
My partner would sometimes react strongly to a situation and it would catch me off guard. Over time we learnt to talk about it once things calmed down and it helped me better understand her triggers and how i can avoid them.
We tried hobby swapping and found a whole new world of things to do together. Who knew? Turns out I actually liked some of his hobbies! Now we have a whole list of shared interests, and our bond is stronger than ever!
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.
We realised that division of household chores makes everyone better off. Over time we figured out what each one of us is good at, what we each love/hate doing, and then arranged accordingly.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
