Gratitude is an essential attitude in marriage and a sign that a husband and wife are content with their union. But then how often does the spouse or partner express the same? How often do you tell your partner that he/she matters a lot to you? How often do you appreciate them? Or for that matter how often do you simply say 'Thank You!?'
Today we are speaking to some psychology experts and couples across the globe and see what positive ripple effects expressing gratitude creates in life.
Monisha and Anil Nair, an NRI Couple from Australia are a step ahead, their gratitude towards each other shows on Social Media as well. Saumya asserts," A cycle of appreciation is sparked by gratitude. Human nature dictates that when someone feels valued, they are more likely to express that value back. Having a thankfulness practice in your marriage can have a domino effect because as one person communicates gratitude and affirmation, the other does it more readily. It can start from a simple "I Love You” when you see each other after work and flow into more expressions in day to day life. And this mutual appreciation wards off any kind of negativity to further strengthen the bond."
Psychologist Amritha Soman Naidu from Hyderabad, India writes, "Gratitude doesn't alone mean expressing it in words. Taking time out for each other and engaging in each other's hobbies is also a way of saying you matter a lot to me! It helps heal, it is therapeutic, especially for relationships that struggle to find time together because of other responsibilities including family. This is the time when couples can not just enjoy a good time together but are often seen to talk out differences and sort them out in a better way."
So how does gratitude improve relationships or strengthen them? Let's look at a real story of a couple
Sarika and Salil a young couple in their 20s faced life's turmoils when they were unable to manage their post-COVID19 pandemic financial crunch in 2021. So much so that Sarika went into depression when Salil postponed their plans to have a child. It's then that a friend diverted them to Psychiatrist Susmita Chakraborty in Kolkata, who found this a case of lifestyle issues and lack of gratitude towards each other. Rather than putting her on medication, she asked them to start penning two appreciation notes for each other per day and leave them under each other's pillows each night. The next day thereafter they were asked to read what they wrote. Sarika informs that within a week she started realising how blessed they were, on the other hand, Sahil says, "I didn't realise how deeply she was in love with me, how dependent she was on me for emotional support till I read those notes full of love.." Sarika informs, "Gratitude writing and reading healed me magically. I became cheerful again and took up a job in a play school. Not just our finances began improving but also, that small void in my life began filling. Also in July 2022 that we conceived our first baby. All is going great and we have graduated from two gratitude notes to four per night!"
Psychiatrist Susmita adds, “ there is nothing called magic here, each couple takes their own time to bond better. What's needed is consistency in finding good each day, in each other.”
Let's see HOW DOES GRATITUDE WORK PSYCHOLOGICALLY
1. APPRECIATION MAKES ONE FEEL VALUED
"Giving thanks for the tiny things they do can help them feel content and joyful. We constantly criticise and point out our partner's faults in our relationship, which makes the other person feel irritated and distant. Therefore, thoughtfully expressing the qualities you like and admire in them will help them feel valued and appreciated, which will make them happier once more," asserts Madhavan Menon, a 30-year-old NRI from the Middle East.
2. ROMANCE REKINDLES A RELATIONSHIP
"People quit engaging in romantic activities that they were used to at the beginning of a relationship as time goes on. We overlook the fact that maintaining the spark takes constant work. Even though we (the majority of us) claim to be pragmatic, we know deep down that we are hopelessly romantic and enjoy being treated special occasionally. So make that occasionally more often, and that's why we keep going on dates, dinners, travels, and more to keep that spark on, in our lives, informs Sumaiya Nair Kapoor, a 35 year old mom from New Delhi, India.
3. THE UNSPOKEN LOVING GESTURE ARE ALSO GRATITUDE
Samantha John, a 29-year-old Psychologist from Chicago writes, "That gesture of tossing an early morning dessert for lunch; that peck on the cheek before you leave; that warm hug before setting off to work - are hints that he/she cares for you. And in turn a thank you for the unspoken gratitude, will melt both hearts like anything! Similarly, try to understand each others' pain points like exhaustion at the end of the day, extra work hours load, and more. Help them in such hours at home to make them feel loved and cared for."
4. LISTENING IS ALSO A FORM OF GRATITUDE
Eve Mendes, a 32 year-old IT professional from Australia has a husband who is a man of few words. So how do they bond better each day over gratitude? She says, "Pay close attention to what your partner is saying when you two are conversing. Avoid interjecting when your partner is expressing their viewpoint, and pay close attention to them when they are outlining their problems. These little things can make a big difference in how good your relationship is."
Now over to some practical ways of expressing gratitude
So what are your own tips to love and express more gratitude? Do share the same with us at hello@thebaelyapp.com. Who knows you end up inspiring others with your own story!
Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed within this interview are the personal opinions of the protagonist/protagonists. The facts & statistics, the work profile details of the protagonist/ protagonists do not reflect the views of Baely or the Journalist. Neither Baely nor the Journalist hold any responsibility or liability for the same.
Image by jcomp on Freepik
