Myth: You should try to change your partner to fit your idea of the perfect partner.
Fact: It's essential to embrace and cherish your partner for the unique person they are. Each of us has our own special qualities that make us who we are, and it's important to acknowledge and appreciate those differences. Instead of trying to mould your partner into your ideal, try sharing your desires in a loving and understanding way.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.