Imagine this. You are dancing with your partner on a vibrant and energetic dance floor, where both of you are gracefully moving to the rhythm of life. In order to dance together, it is required that there is coordination, balance, and the occasional check-in to make sure you're still in sync as you groove your body.
What happens when you are not checking in with your partner on this dance floor?
You might end up dancing in a different direction, while your partner is assuming that things are going in their way. You might even step onto each other’s shoes or hit heads.
Does not sound pleasant, does it?
A relationship check-in ritual for couples is something similar to this dance check-in. It's an effective way to reconnect with your partner, tune in to each other's steps, and make sure you're still dancing to the same beat. Just as dance allows you to express yourself freely and harmonize with your partner, a relationship check-in enables both of you to express your needs, desires, and concerns while staying in perfect rhythm with one another.
The difference between a regular conversation, and a relationship check-in is that the latter is more focused on the relationship while a regular conversation might include any topic, or focus on anybody else, say a common friend. A relationship check-in for couples, on the other hand, is any act, conversation, or exchange between you and your partner that is intentionally centered on your relationship itself.
While regular conversations are important for day-to-day communication, a relationship check-in ritual specifically carve out dedicated time and space to strengthen the connection in your relationship. It is a ritual that you do on a regular basis to check up on your partner.
I hear you. You see, check-ins do not necessarily need to be a heavy conversation every single time. This is a very common myth that exists out there. This makes check-in sound like a difficult, and tough conversation that you only need to initiate with your partner when things are not going well between the two of you. However, this is not necessarily always the case. Relationships check-in can be a fun, easy way to connect as well. Especially when we’re able to check in regularly, the dance goes smoothly. While in some moments of anticipation or stress, check-ins could feel intimidating, trust that it will help you be in sync rather than disrupt the dance.
Other than reconnecting with your partner, relationship check-ins have numerous benefits for the relationship.
As we earlier stated, relationship check-ins do not need to be anything too elaborate. Sometimes spending a few minutes with your partner on a regular basis where you catch up, assure them about the relationship, or express gratitude could be great examples of a relationship check-in.
Some people also prefer having a dedicated time in a week for their relationship check-in. I am currently working with a client in my therapy practice who dedicates 20-30 minutes every Sunday as they eat their dinner for a meeting where she talks to her partner about the finances and the relationship. According to her, it is the simplest habit that she has added to her schedule for the betterment of her love life.
Having a list of questions, or prompts could ease the process. Here, we are adding a list of questions that you can use the next time you want to do a relationship check-in with your partner.
Something to note is that you do not need to use all of these questions. These questions serve as prompts to stimulate a conversation with your partner. You can modify them to suit your specific circumstances and relationship dynamics.
Need help planning this with your partner? Click here to schedule it and and we will send you timely reminders and support along the way to help you stay on track.
