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Money is often considered a taboo topic in relationships, but avoiding financial discussions can lead to significant problems.

What Is a Money Date and How Can It Strengthen Financial Intimacy and Your Relationship?

money dates, financial intimacy, couple rituals

Money is often considered a taboo topic in relationships, but avoiding financial discussions can lead to significant problems. Couples may think discussing money is unromantic, but money is a major source of conflict in relationships. It is important for couples to have open and honest conversations about their financial goals and priorities to ensure they are on the same page. Failing to do so can result in disagreements about spending habits, debt, and financial planning. It is also crucial for couples to have a joint budget and to regularly reassess their financial situation to prevent conflicts from arising. Talking about money may not be the most romantic thing, but addressing financial issues proactively can help build a stronger and more stable relationship.

But then, what is a money date?

Money dates are regular meetings or rituals between partners to discuss their financial goals, plans, and concerns. These meetings/ get togethers  help improve your financial intimacy and can take place weekly, monthly, or even quarterly, but the important thing is that they happen regularly and consistently.

Say Goodbye to Financial Stress: How Money Dates Can Help Your Relationship 

Here are seven advantages of money dates, as advised by finance management coaches and experts, along with real-life examples from Indian couples who have found success through this practice:

1. Improved Communication

Communication expert Sudha Nair writes to me from Pune, "Money dates allow couples to openly and honestly discuss their financial goals, plans, and concerns. By setting aside dedicated time to talk about money, couples can avoid the stress and frustration that can come from discussing finances on the fly."

Rajesh from Mumbai is a live example of the same. He shared, "Money dates have helped my wife and me to communicate more openly and honestly about our finances. We have been able to set shared financial goals and work towards them together." 

2. Increased Transparency

Having the ritual of Money dates provide an opportunity for couples to share financial information with each other and to be completely transparent about their financial situation. Sudha adds, "This can help to build trust and mutual understanding between partners."

Priya from Delhi can't agree more. " My husband is a spendthrift. Before we started having money dates, I would often hide my financial information from my husband, so that I can go shopping at my will. Now that we have regular money dates, we are able to be completely transparent with each other, and it has helped to build trust and mutual understanding in our relationship. That way he understands my needs, and to a certain extent I also understand why he is a spendthrift and a better money manager than me." 

3. Better Decision-making

Finance Management Coach, Upmanyu Upadhyay from Agra is of the view, "Money dates allow couples to make informed decisions about their finances together."

"Money dates have helped us to make better decisions about our finances. We are able to plan for our future together and ensure that we are on the same page when it comes to important financial decisions. This has been especially useful when it came to big-ticket items, such as buying a home and starting a family," informs Rahil Memon from Chennai.

4. Shared Goals via Better Accountability

"Money dates have played a crucial role in helping Ashish and his wife set shared financial goals and work towards achieving them as a team. Through regular meetings and open communication, they were able to align their financial plans and develop a sense of teamwork that has brought them closer together and helped them to reach their financial goals," informs Finance Management Coach, Upmanyu Upadhyay who has been their guide for more than six months in 2022. 

"Money dates have helped my partner and me to be more accountable for our financial actions and decisions. By regularly discussing our finances, we're able to ensure that we're both on the same page and working together towards a common financial vision. It's helped us to build trust and mutual understanding in our relationship," writes Neha Sauhard from Chandigarh.

5. Avoidance of Financial Infidelity

Relationship experts like Raman Menon from Kozhikode advise, "Money dates help couples to avoid the deceit and betrayal that can come from hiding financial information from each other. This can help to build trust and mutual understanding between partners."

Here Radhika Singh from Amritsar, Punjab shares that, "We used to have a lot of fights over my financial goals and his financial goals, till we joined a finance management program in Delhi for a week. We began going on Money Dates; we are able to discuss any financial conflicts or concerns that may arise in a timely and effective manner. From his and mine goals, they became OUR FINANCIAL GOALS and we are able to work together in a better way on the same," writes Suresh from Bangalore.

6. Improved Budgeting and Savings

"Money dates have been a game changer for my partner and me when it comes to budgeting and savings. We're now able to review our income and expenses, set realistic financial goals, and track our progress towards achieving them. It's helped us to manage our money more effectively and reach our financial dreams faster," informs Anjali from Bangalore

7. Stress Reduction

Money dates can help to reduce stress and tension in a relationship by providing a regular opportunity for couples to talk about their finances in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

"Regular money dates have been a lifesaver for my relationship. They've allowed us to identify any potential financial issues early on and work together to find solutions before they become bigger problems. It's helped us to avoid financial stress and conflicts and maintain harmony in our relationship, especially after my job loss during the COVID pandemic times," shares a very emotional Shraddha from Jaipur, whose husband Raj Rathore is a COVID survivor from 2021.

Here are a couple of do's and don'ts on your money dates

  1. Avoid Being Judgmental: When discussing finances with your partner, it’s important to avoid passing judgment or making assumptions about their spending habits. This can lead to feelings of resentment and may cause damage to the relationship.
  2. Don’t Neglect to Set Budget and Goals: Setting budget and financial goals together is essential for the success of your financial plan. Neglecting to set these goals and sticking to them can lead to disagreements and setbacks in your relationship.
  3. Avoid Playing the Blame Game: When discussing finances, it’s important to avoid blaming each other for past financial mistakes. Instead, focus on moving forward and finding solutions together.
  4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help: If you’re struggling to communicate about money, consider seeking the help of a financial advisor or therapist. They can provide an objective perspective and help guide you and your partner to a healthier financial future.

Click here to setup a ritual of having Money Dates with your partner and we will send your timely reminder and support along the way to help you stay on track.

Summing Up...

Relationship expert and finance management coach, Arthur Vault from Bhubaneswar, Odisha sums it all up asserting, " See, how the couple above, how they are grateful for their money dates and for the lessons they have learned! Because they know that money doesn't have to be a source of conflict and stress but can be a source of strength and unity in their relationship."

In short, at Baely we strongly believe that 'Money Dates' may seem like a small thing, but they can make a big difference in a relationship, especially with improving your financial intimacy. So, whether you're just starting out, or you're a seasoned couple looking to improve your relationship, give money dates a try. You'll be surprised at the difference it can make. And don't forget to write to us at hello@thebaelyapp.com about the experience of your money dates!

Related article: Budgeting to Investing: Finance Coach's Guide for Couples towards a Stronger Relationship

Disclaimer:

The opinions expressed within this interview are the personal opinions of the protagonist/protagonists. The facts & statistics, the work profile details of the protagonist/ protagonists do not reflect the views of Baely or the Journalist. Neither Baely nor the Journalist hold any responsibility or liability for the same.

About the Interviewer
About the Author
Mahima Sharma
Mahima Sharma is a Senior Journalist based in Delhi NCR. She has been in the field of TV, Print & Online Journalism since 2005 and previously an additional three years in allied media.
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