Myth: My partner is responsible for my happiness.
Fact: While your partner has a role to play, happiness starts from self. When we think our partners are solely responsible for our happiness, we are putting a lot of pressure on that person, which becomes problematic in the long run. One should look for activities that bring them joy. It can be anything: watching your favourite movie, going out with your friends, listening to music, or a walk.
I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
Little gestures go a long way in a relationship. Bear hugs, a good bye kiss before leaving for work, bringing home a small gift, or snack, etc are seemingly small deeds but have a great positive impact on a relationship.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
