Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
We tried hobby swapping and found a whole new world of things to do together. Who knew? Turns out I actually liked some of his hobbies! Now we have a whole list of shared interests, and our bond is stronger than ever!
We realised that division of household chores makes everyone better off. Over time we figured out what each one of us is good at, what we each love/hate doing, and then arranged accordingly.
