No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.

I used to body-shame my partner by saying something negative about her height, looks, etc. But then I realized that I wasn’t having fun with her, but instead at her cost and it started to impact her mental health. I immediately apologized to her and stopped.

Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.

As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.

Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.