Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
Most couples avoid having difficult conversations that are necessary to create a life together. Instead, they try to avoid these issues and hope they would work themselves out. However, the truth is that they can't be on the same page without consistent communication.
